It’s such a joyous time becoming a parent! Your software’s been conceived and is now going through an exciting and healthy period of development. You’ve fought your way through bouts of sickness and the odd craving (I’ll write it in… Malbolge*!!!), but everything’s on schedule. But wait… the delivery date is next week! Stay calm, remember your breathing and follow these top tips for delivering something wonderful into the world.
1 – Always release software with a licence – without a birth certificate, no one will know who the parents are.
2 – Waiting isn’t going to make the delivery any better – a late delivery can be as difficult as one that is premature. If things are taking too long, it can be best to induce labour.
3 – Version your software releases – things are going to get complicated if you don’t distinguish between who’s Sr. and who’s Jr. (Michael Jackson’s a bit of a visionary in this field, having included a version number in his son’s name “Michael II”).
4 – Provide contact information – make sure your software has a name tag just in case there’s a mix up at the repository.
5 – Download and test your release – on the big day, you should make a test run so that you’re happy that there’ll be no complications (pack an overnight bag).
For a slightly more, er… …